The comedy duo behind the popular brand I Mom So Hard—Kristin Hensley and Jen Smedley—know a thing or two about the chaotic realities of raising growing children. Between the two of them, they share four kids: one 15-year-old, two 13-year-olds, and an 11-year-old. This means they are navigating the turbulent waters of adolescence firsthand while simultaneously managing demanding careers, a fall comedy tour, and the launch of their new book, The Middle School Mom’s Survival Guide.
Before hitting the road for their latest tour, the longtime friends and collaborators sat down for an interview to discuss the unique challenges of the middle school years, how they manage to unwind amidst the chaos, and why navigating their children’s pre-teen years while dealing with perimenopause creates a uniquely overwhelming phase of life.
Navigating the Reality Check of Middle School
For parents, middle school often carries a reputation as one of the most dreaded stages of child-rearing. However, both comedians note that while the hormonal shifts and emotional volatility are very real, the experience often brings unexpected moments of humor rather than sheer terror.
Reflecting on the stark differences in how boys and girls navigate these transitional years, Hensley shared a candid and humorous anecdote about observing her son and his friends. She recounted watching the boys engage in classic, chaotic pre-teen antics, such as playfully and inexplicably hitting each other in sensitive areas despite the obvious physical pain. It highlighted, she noted, the absurd mentality and physical clumsiness that often characterize young boys during this stage.
Girls, on the other hand, navigate a different set of social and emotional stakes. While they may not be engaging in physical horseplay, they are busy learning to maneuver complex friend groups, digital chat rooms, and rapidly shifting social dynamics. Hensley points out that these early social trials are actually foundational, helping girls build deep emotional resilience and tight-knit friendships that will serve them well into adulthood.
Smedley echoed these sentiments, noting that many mothers approach middle school with a sense of impending dread, only to find that the foundational values they have spent years instilling in their children actually do stick. However, that does not mean the transition is entirely smooth. Smedley pointed out that as testosterone and other hormones kick in heavily by seventh and eighth grade, the affectionate, cuddly behavior of early childhood often vanishes abruptly, replaced by unpredictable mood swings and a fast-growing sense of independence.
Juggling Motherhood, Aging, and ‘Grandma Puberty’
The decision to focus their latest book on the middle school years stemmed naturally from their own daily lives. Smedley emphasized that no matter what professional projects they take on, motherhood remains a constant, inescapable part of their identity. Right now, they find themselves caught in what they humorously refer to as "cougar puberty"—dealing with the onset of perimenopause and mid-life changes at the exact same time they are guiding their children through early adolescence.
This unfortunate mathematical overlap of life stages forms the backbone of The Middle School Mom’s Survival Guide. Hensley noted that middle school flies by with lightning speed, encompassing three years of massive, highly distinct developmental shifts from sixth through eighth grade. By tackling these years with humor, the duo hopes to remind mothers that they are not alone in feeling overwhelmed by the simultaneous pressures of raising pre-teens, navigating their own changing bodies, and managing aging parents.
When discussing the universal parenting struggle of children complaining of boredom, both comedians shared a surprisingly welcoming attitude toward the condition. Rather than rushing to provide immediate entertainment, Smedley views boredom as an essential catalyst for imagination and independent thought. In an era where children are constantly tempted to default to screens and digital scrolling, forcing kids to step away, go outside, and figure out how to occupy their own time is viewed as a vital parenting victory.
Learning to Be Kinder to Themselves
Amidst the high stakes of parenting adolescents and managing demanding professional schedules, both women acknowledged that women are notoriously hard on themselves. Smedley reflected on how writing the book forced her to confront her own unrealistic expectations, realizing that she was still holding herself to the same perfectionist standards she placed upon herself as a child growing up in a divorced home. Learning to offer herself grace and recognizing that everyday hurdles are not the end of the world has become an essential daily mantra.
As they balance writing, rehearsing, touring, and everyday parenting duties, Hensley and Smedley continue to rely on the humor and shared solidarity that built their platform in the first place, offering a comforting reminder to mothers everywhere that they are simply doing the best they can.
