During the first “Weekend Update” segment of Saturday Night Live Season 52, featured player and impressionist Jeremy Culhane brought back his fan-favorite impression of conservative political commentator Tucker Carlson. Stepping up to the iconic news desk, Carlson offered his characteristically sharp, deadpan, and absurdly eccentric thoughts on some of the biggest cinematic blockbusters of the summer, targeting everything from premium large-format screens to superhero casting choices and animated sequels.
Breaking Down Hollywood’s Summer Hits Through a Conservative Lens
Carlson’s satirical commentary began with a look at the historical epic The Odyssey. Turning his attention to the film’s theatrical presentation, Carlson zeroed in on its specialty screening format, Imax 70mm. "The Hollywood cabal shoots its filth with millimeters," Carlson declared with trademark indignation, before offering his own peculiar spin on the measurement: "or as I like to call it, the gay inch."
Not stopping there, the pundit briefly praised the film’s cultural roots while maintaining his signature brand of backhanded cultural grievance. "I like The Odyssey," he continued. "It’s so nice to see Greek people do something other than make women feel uncomfortable."
From classical mythology, the broadcast quickly shifted to the massive superhero landscape, directing its satirical crosshairs at what Carlson framed as the biggest movie of the year.
Targeting Superhero Movies and Celebrity Marriages
With complete confidence in his own fabricated premise, Carlson announced to Weekend Update co-anchor Colin Jost, "Everybody loves Spider-Man: Brand New Gender."
The meta-humor immediately kicked in as Jost attempted to correct the guest, asserting, "That’s not what it’s called." However, the conservative commentator was already entirely too invested in his own bit, brushing past the correction to invent a brand-new, politically charged theme song right on the spot. "Spider-They, Spider-Them uses whatever bathroom it feels like," he sang with unbothered conviction.
The segment then took a bizarre detour into celebrity marital traditions. Carlson attempted to congratulate the movie’s lead stars on tying the knot, only to grind the sentence to a halt mid-thought. "I now pronounce you Mr. and Mrs. — huh? She refused to take his last name," he complained, expressing genuine bewilderment over modern naming conventions.
When Jost gently reminded him that co-star Zendaya "doesn’t have a last name," Carlson spiraled further into a mock existential crisis about nomenclature. "But where did it go? And who took it? And why?" he demanded. "Sorry kids, you don’t get two names anymore. You only get one name, like a dog. That’s the rule. That’s the goal now."
From Horror Tropes to Trump’s Cabinet and ‘Toy Story’
The rapid-fire critique moved swiftly through the rest of the summer’s cinematic offerings, landing next on the thriller genre and the film Obsession. Framing the plot through a satirical political lens, Carlson diagnosed the movie’s premise as the ultimate conservative nightmare.
"The left’s idea of a horror movie — that a woman is forced to love a man," Carlson said, feigning sheer terror. "Oh, no, help! I’m being chased by a heterosexual relationship! Is this what we want? I don’t. Do you? You shouldn’t. But you do. Why? Is that allowed? Maybe."
The commentary then took a sudden, self-referential political turn when Carlson brought up Minions and Monsters. Without skipping a beat, he compared the family-friendly feature directly to "Trump’s cabinet," before pausing to deliver a dry, self-congratulatory punchline. "That’s right. I’ve turned on Trump. I’m so brave," he said deadpan, mocking the punditry class’s frequent framing of political pivots as acts of profound courage.
Finally, the segment wrapped up with a predictably juvenile and raunchy joke about the upcoming animated sequel Toy Story 5. Leaning into the double-entendres inherent in the franchise’s famous theme song, Carlson closed out his appearance with a final jab: "You’ve got a friend in me? And his name is Woody?"
A Growing Tradition on Weekend Update
Jeremy Culhane originally debuted his viral Tucker Carlson impression during Season 51 of Saturday Night Live. Given the strong positive audience reception and the character’s rich potential for satirical political commentary, Culhane has brought the persona back for recurring appearances on the Weekend Update desk. This marks the third time the comedian has stepped into the shoes of the media personality, cementing the impression as a staple of the show’s current era.
